The Spelling Bee

I want to learn how to spell, in English.

Is that so hard? Apparantly yes.

...

I am right now attempting to find things to do until 2am. I have 17 minutes left right now.

I have had a weird year. So much that I don't know where to start.

I think I am an adult now... I am trying my best not to be, but it is hard.

I am 22. I am still in school and work part time. I ride a motorcycle. I don't do the dishes until I run out of spoons... That is the best I can do right now to delay my ascention into adulthood.

I would like to say I am very happy with my life at the moment. I hope that you are happy with yours too.

the past four-five monthes

My God. I haven't updated any of my journals in a really long time. I can't beleive my semester is already over, soon spring will be here and I will be doing it all over again.

I am now going to try my best to update my journal.

I got to scottsdale in late July, or early August, I forget. I started work at World Market and instantly loved it. Thomas visited me every weekend, and someitmes we went to see eachother on week days, for a few days we had a falling out, then realized it was stupid. Um. I started school sometime around here and dropped my communications class because my teacher was, apparant to me, incompatent. I added on a literature class instead and disliked my teacher again but was too lazy to trade the class out.

Time moved on and the apartment Thomas and I had signed the lease on was threatening eviction for loud tv's and an extra resident (Doug). We ended up buying out the lease and they started renting their Aunt's house in Mesa. I started seeing Thomas a whole lot, and by now the summer was just about over.

Soon after they moved in Michael jumped aboard Thom's house voyage and so we naturally started our DnD crew back up again. In this campaign I was a Hobgoblin Fighter, specializing in Trip attacks and Chain whips. I know, too cool for words isn't it.

I all the while doing well in school and loving my job. I became freinds with a gay boy from work named Peter, and even went out with him and some other co workers for a few time for 'drinks' which for me was cranberry juice.

I started a study group in my Japanese class with two people, Vega san and Leonardo san. Both are funny and moderatly interesting. I also became friends with my lab parterns in BIO, Jeremy and Micah.

I'd like to talk about all the people I met but this has to be kinda short so I wont.

Time moved on, Thom got a sweet job at a computer plant as a shipping and receiving hand, although the rest of his room mates are still looking for proper work.

School ended, a had to drive in the rain a few times, it made me very cold and angry, and I started wishing I lived somewhere that didn't have so much rain!!! I then realized I was crazy and just started calling in and saying "listen, I'm not riding in the rain, I'll be there when it stops" (that is to work btw, not school).

Um. Winter break has been consumed by full time work for the holiday season. I learned to loath people and that if you want to ever take a break you have to take your apron off at the register and hide your face till you are saftly to the water cooler, or else...

Thats it. Talk to you soon I hope.

Man, I am tired.

Today I found out that the head of my office is leaving around the same time I am. Not only that they are also losing the surrent Head Editor at the exact same time, he too is going to MCC bu coincicdence.

Tomarrow is the 4th of July, I am not looking forward to it because I have no one to watch fire works with.

In about four weeks I am moving into my apartment in Scottsdale permanently. I am ready. I hope I get a job lined up, now that I think of it it might be a while till I find a job, I remember last time I looked it took me two months!

Robert The

I had a dream last night about my dad, but I don't remember what it was about really.

Sometimes I am frightened by the way my thought process works. I am disturbed by my lack of acceptance. I just don't feel like my dad is dead. When I think "I wonder what dad will think about Thomas, I bet he would like him."

I really beleive that one day he will come home and he will tell me what he thinks of what I have created as my life. I don't hold him leaving against him. I know if he left he had a good reason, just as I would if I left.

I just hope he finds what he is looking for.

Scottsdale.

I went to Alison's graduation/birthday party. It was much more fun that I thought it would be. I was afraid that it was going to be really incomfortable since there would be a lot of people there I didn't know. The best part was when everyone else left and we watched her open gifts, her family is enjoyable.

Thom and I spent the night at my future apartment, I like it a lot. I am not too happy about the area, there is no build up in the immediate area, so that is kinda a bummer, but the apartment is nice and there is a good view of the mountains from there.

I got nearly all of my school stuff done, the only thing I am still worried about is where I will work. Of course I can't shoose where I would work, but I do have an idea of where I am going to look. I want an evening job, so I will look around for clerk/waitress work.

We drove to Mesa to go to bookmans, and I realized that the drive there isn't bad, the 101 has strict speed control, so I feel less worried about getting run over on my bike, and the roads there seem to be pretty tame, not too many people out.

well, wish me luck.

St-t-t-t

Eh. I am upset right now. I got all fussy and drove my bike, I wasn't wearing a helmet or sunglasses or anything so my eyes were all watery and I could barely see anything, but I was too far from home to be able to just stop and get gear.

Then I guess I had it in too high of a gear for the speed I was going so my bike stalled while I was in the middle of a yellow light intersection, and the piece of shit turned red on me, luckily I didn't get hurt, I got out before the other light turned green I think, in red light limbo.

Then I pulled to the side and it wouldn't start so I had to push it home :(

It really sucked. It is so frustrating for it not to work for me. Thomas took my bike because I was late getting home, it was my fault, I blamed it on him, don't worry I already apologized, all is forgiven on both sides.

I've been getting in more arguments with him than usual, all for stupid stuff. I guess I am just mad at life that I have to move away. I kinda want to dislike him so that it won't hurt so much, but I can't help it, I love him so much.

Eh, sometimes I feel like I have no place, I feel like that a lot lately. I feel like I am no one. that no one really cares if I come or go, or who or what I am. I know it isn't true, but that is just how I feel sometimes.

I'm tired of being stuck in the middle, I wish everything would just happen, and I could get over it and adjust. I can't unmake my decisions, so I would like their consequences to be over with.

May 4th

I have my Honda sitting outside. I have ridden it around a little, I am still shy with the gear system, but I am learning. If it weren't for that it would be really easy to drive. I haven't had to take any turns at normal speeds, but I will see how that goes when I am confident to actually go normal speeds.

No one seems to beleive me when I tell them I purchased it, and that I will be riding it. I guess it does seem very impractical. I don't think it is. It is cheap to drive a motorcycle, and you have limits, I mean, you don't have to worry about people expecting you do do certian things. It is nice to know that from mow on I won't have to take anyone anywhere, that I won't have to pick up/drop off many people and that I won't have to ride on freeways if I don't want to.

It is so much fun to ride. The biggest problem I have is stopping correctly. I just don't know how to gauge these things yet, like with any new vehicle, you have to get a feel for their brakes, and their stop time, and with this I have the added lesson of correctly downshifting. I really wasn't sure about that, Thom told me how to start, but when I was out there I realized I had forgotten to ask how to stop, so I just took it down and it took me a while to realize that I needed to put it into nuetral and still give it gas for it to really stop without stalling.